Marriage - The Love that became just Sex

I have always felt the strong need of emotional attachment for physical intimacy with a woman. The feeling of belongingness and lots of foreplay were so essential for that deep physical bond that I always wanted.

Naturally, I looked forward with great eagerness for that much awaited moment like everyone. Although I had an arranged marriage in a very short time, we had long phone conversations which helped us feel comfortable with each other from day one.

I was deeply invested emotionally to my wife and had very fulfilling sexual experience with her from the start. Unlike the horrific tales of men with their wives that I hear today, mine was a dream story. Anybody would feel elated for having such a sexually fulfilling wife. But as they say, 'good' things are short-lived.

Within the first one-two days, several instances of my wife having cheated me with false information to secure this marriage began to surface. This was the beginning of hell for me as I felt shattered for the thought of spending the rest of my life who was not only a liar but also was not qualified for the basic qualities I wanted in my life partner. From then on sex was nothing more than fulfilling my physical need and also a silent way of venting out my anger, despair and frustration.

While my wife had 'body pain' all throughout the day every single day for cooking and the little household work (which I shared equally, if not more) she was demanding about sex all the time. 

She was abusive, uncaring and scheming in various ways which also extended to our sexual life. Shortly after marriage I went down with continuous high fever for several days where I couldn't sleep or eat. But even in such condition, she was more interested in her physical needs than caring for my ailment. I was so heart-broken and angered that I wanted to kick her out of bed. But all I did was lay back silently and shiver the whole night while she slept comfortably.

She started creating big issues since then, and the doom in our relationship was sealed. Sex was just a mechanical exercise after that to meet her physical needs and a lame feeling for me that if she is good for nothing else, at least get some use of this crook in my life.

I have never shared this sentiment and thought with anyone before now because not only does it sound very cheap, but it is also not true of the person that I am. I felt trapped in utter helplessness and despair (my family did not support me to find strength).

This one experience has made me realize how women are seldom caring or sensitive towards their male sexual partners, and just want to use them (or deprive them) sexually. They use sex to manipulate and exploit men. I don't think I can have a truly fulfilling physical relationship with any woman other than just superficial physical gratification (if at all) after realizing this harsh reality.

Saga of a sexually abused husband

Mine was an arranged marriage as per Indian tradition. During our courtship period, my would be wife discussed about her fancy of “first night”. I asked her, are you willing to consummate our marriage on first night itself else we can plan it later when she is comfortable with? Her instant response was I want to consummate it on the day of wedding itself. Just a day before wedding she confirmed it again.

For our wedding night she has done all preparations from her end but as I proceed towards her, she u turned from her statement. She said am afraid of the pain,( pain was an inevitable processes, she was aware about it)I told it’s fine, we can  try one more time, in case you are not comfortable we can stop it. But our second attempt was unsuccessful as well, then I told her when you are comfortable with it we can consummate our marriage. She agreed to it.

The Headache of Lifetime

Marriage ceremonies in India are tiring. And given the traditional upbringing, most men do not experience sex before marriage. Same was the case with me. Everybody around me (relatives and friends) had created so much hype about sex that more than the fun part, I was curious to know how it feels. I guess, the same was my wife's condition too. So, after we retired into our honeymoon suite after all the rites and rituals, we both literally bumped into each other but nothing substantial happened as we were both tired and just slept. The following day again began with a round of getting down to touch the feet of elders across the town and it was too exhausting. 

The same night she insisted. I was tired but tried. But it couldn't happen and I had to leave it mid-way. What she told me the next day shocked me.

"Don't ever do it to me. I get headaches"

The shocking tale of a nymphomaniac wife

After marriage we never had a sex for 15 days,  After that she refused to have a sex for 3 months & the reason was, according to her mother there is puja (worship of a god) remaining, so I never forced for sex. 

3 months later she went to her parents home and called me that she is pregnant !! I was in deep shock, how a women can became pregnant without sex. After that call she never called me or received my call. 

Suddenly in Diwali she came to my home and after that she forced me to have sex like porn videos, she pressurise me to have sex while watching porn !! Again it's shock for me !! When I refused to that , she started blackmailing me, like she will file a case against me that I am forcing her to have sex like a porn videos. I was in a deep shock to realise what's going on !! I was not able to talk with anyone !! After my final refusal she used strangulate her neck with the help of Dupatta and one day she hanged herself to the ceiling fan, as she was doing drama nothing happened to her  !! 

Really I was in too much depression !! I had no idea what's going in her mind !!

The 'naive' wife who too ignorant

She was a homely girl (as what was told to me )who was never allowed to go out. When she got married to me, I took her to many places to roam around in India. She projected she doesn't know anything about sex, even that why vagina and penis are designed for, complete zero. But when we had our first sex post marriage after few days, she was very aggressive and she did oral sex without any hesitation. This shocked me, when I asked how come she know about all these movements, she got furious.

I tried to ignore then and never asked again.  She used to seek multiple sex in single night. I used to do lot of work from home due to my multi country projects and different time-zones, on those days she used to push for sex even in afternoon and night. I used to feel very tired with office work as it was my new job and pressure was high but she was never ready for breaks and with time I understood she knows much more about sex then even me and she was lying all throughout.

The nymphomaniac abusive wife

Like any other normal guy ,for me my marriage was also a beautiful event in my life and so "Suhaagraat" the pious and most celebrated first night .

Unfortunately my mother was sick and almost unconscious for the whole day and was on intravenous fluids and medicines and a family doctor was treating her at home only, because of me taking care of my wife thinking that she should not feel alone in a new home and other rituals ,I could not go to my mother and see her. I was feeling like a good husband but a terrible son.

Finally at night (Suhaagraat) when I was with my wife, I requested her .. Can we both go and see Mom ? I want to see my mom and sit beside her for some time ...

That one request... just for few minutes… by a son... for someone who gave her whole life to him , for someone who is on bed waiting with tears in her eyes and seeing the whole world coming to her except her own son and new daughter, that one request ...gave me the answer that my life is screwed.